When I read Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" I am always amazed at how clear Mr. Chambers' thinking/distillation of biblical concepts is. And I thought I would like to share this with Andrew. But I knew I needed to simplify the message a little for an 11-year-old brain. So I re-worked yesterday's message, "Don't Hurt The Lord", and shared it with Andrew today.
When I read the part - We look for God to show Himself to us, but God only shows Himself in us. And while other people can see signs of God’s presence in us by our words and actions, we do not see it in ourselves. As much as we want to notice what God is doing in us, if we keep asking God for proof and watching for that proof, we hurt the Lord - I realized how much that describes ME. Especially lately. And boy did I confess it right away to Andrew (see son, even Papa makes mistakes!)
I have been telling Minda lately that I feel like I am hyper-vigilant for signs of my relationship with Christ. Which is not necessarily a bad thing - focusing on God is my utmost. But I confessed to her and later to God, that I have been so focused on what God is doing in my life that I may have forgotten about all the "brothers and neighbors" - that Jesus tells us to love - around me.
And yes, what I am looking for is proof that God loves me.
So I confess this to God and family and whomever is reading this: I have been self-absorbed with my relationship with Christ and hurting Him by questioning, analyzing and over-thinking our relationship. And I repent for it here and now.
The final part of today's lesson was very fitting for me and Andrew. (The paraphrase of) Chambers' essay said: Believe it or not, choosing NOT to be worried about things—weather, grades, food, money—actually honors Jesus. It’s another way of saying, “Thank you God for loving me.”
What was interesting was right before I read to him, he mentioned that he thinks God is helping with his fear (terror) of thunderstorms because he slept right through one the other night. And that made the final line even more awesome:
Realize that Jesus is here now, and the freedom you receive is immediate.